I'm Leaving This Blank

Sunday, March 27, 2011
I miss you ahma :( at 12:41 AM

My beloved ahma passed away on the 12th March 2011.

Till now, I still miss her so much. I cant accept the fact that she has to go :(
It was so unfortunate that she was diagnosed with 2 types of cancer.
The deadliest, colon and liver cancer :( (she ate healthily, and nv drinks!) I SRSLY DUNNO WHY PPL WHO BINGE DRINKING DIN GET AND WHY MUST MY GRANDMA SUFFER FROM SUCH A CRUEL SICKNESS?
It took her life away. Before her last days, she was suffering. She din wanna leave all of us, but it was too painful for her to carry on :'(

Thinking of it makes me tear. My grandma dotes on every single person in the family. I rmb the recent CNY. She stood up (she struggled to, as she was sooo much in pain) just to cook her delicious "zup zuan mee sua". Cos she knows alll of us love to eat her mee sua. she always say that I din visit her whenever she cooks it :( thinking of it makes me hate myself sooo much. I was too involved in a stupid waste time and money r/s. So fucking angry with myself. I dun uds why was i so in love with such a bastard last time, neglecting my grandma when she yearns for the whole family to visit her.

My grandma makes the best, the best "KOK ZAI" (peanut in the curry puff form) every CNY, she'll make them and give us a tin each. She nv complains about having to cook this or make this and that for us. She does all these chores happily. With her cute radio beside her.

I rmb I woke up very early just to accompany her as she';s alone at home. She nv allows me to do the chores. She wants to do them by herself. (watering the plants, sweeping the floor) when she's really sick. She ask me to come along to Tamp mart with her as she wanna do some grocery shopping. I held her hands, and we went there tgt.

She din allow me to help her with the groceries. I had to insist. till she gave in and passed me all the heavy bags. She knew that I love her noodles, so she cooked the fried noodles and also made bobochacha for me. Cos she asked me if i like it, so I;ll just agree and told her that anything she cook, i'll love to eat them.

She always pile up alot of food for me when I was younger, and I'll just reject the "vegetarian mock meat". She'll scold me and say that "I dunno how to eat" AHAHA! so adorable.

She's always sick, the jaundice :( she kept insisting that she;s ugly. NO... MY GRANDMA IS STILL VERY PRETTY. <3
From what I know, she's in pain :(

I miss you grandma, so much that whenever I tot of u. I'll cry. :'(

Blogging this entry made me cry too. :'(

I hope u're fine, up there in heaven. :D

I'll see u again.

I love you.

About Me

Ng Ee Xuan. 19.11.1991. For shoots and enquiries, please email me at: eexuan91@live.com.sg




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